New Year

Stupid Person 10

So here I sit.  I had to work early today because my husband had a scheduling conflict.  C'est la vie is what I say.  Now this has been a particularly tough week because my  husband got called to work early.  And the reason he got called to work early is because of Stupid Person 10. 

This Jackwagon, who really wasn't doing anything wrong... oh wait... he was doing EVERYTHING wrong!  He stole a car.  That was just the start of his problems.  Then as he was joyriding around - in an old beat up pick up truck to boot - when he was pulled over by the cops.  And do you think this upstanding citizen just pulled over and took his lumps?!?  Of course not. That would be too easy.

Instead, he decides to try and run from the police. Like he's gonna get away from a polce officer in a beat up pickup truck.  So he runs and ends up driving over a curb and hitting another parked car.  But his escapades don't stop there.  He hits the car - twice and I'm not sure how he did that one! - and drives off the curb on continues on eluding.  And on a side note here... there is no "attempting" to elude a police officer.  You either do, or you don't. 

Then this Jackwagon tries to take a corner, a 90 degree corner, and SHOCKER, he looses control of the car.  But this guy can't just run into a pole, or a tree, or a fence.  No he has to run into a building.  And by into I mean INTO a building. He litterally goes in the front window.  He buries the whole truck into the front window. This poor flower shop, with Valentines Day two weeks away, now has a pick up truck in the front of their window.

And do you know why he ran?  Not because of the stolen truck.  Although that was one of the reasons.  The other one was this Jackwagon was carrying drugs.  Now I don't know how much or what kind, but either way it was drugs and he didn't want to get caught with them.  So maybe he should count as stupid person 10 and 11 for that one!

Stupid Person 9

Stupid.  That is the point of this blog.  I encounter stupid people every day.  I just don't write about them every day.  But these stupid people are not always the customers of the Widgets or Gizmos.  Sometimes, more often then I'd like, they are my co-workers.  These are the people that are in jobs that they should never have gotten in the first place.  And then when their probation was up, they weren't fired, they were retained.  Now I and my other co-workers must deal with the internal stupids. 

For example; I work with this older guy - he's gotta be 60 something - and he just can't remember how to do the job.  There are fees you have to remember, documents you have to fill out properly and details you have to pay attention to.  This guy can't seem to do that.  No matter how many times you tell him something.  And I'm fairly new at my job - I've been there 3 years - and he's been there slightly longer then me.  I have the fees down cold, can write up the document in no time, but this guy can't.  He forgot to charge two different people fees in the same day.  For things that we sell EVERYDAY!!!  How can you forget the fees for these things.  I just don't know!

For example at my work, one of the Widgets we sell is a snow park pass.  Now this kid comes in today - and by kid I mean 20 something - with quite a tale. He claims he bought the pass a week or two ago and one day as he was driving down the road, his window down, it flew out.  He didn't buy it from us, you can buy them in about a million locations, but now hes coming t us.  He wants to know if we will just give him a new one.  You know replace the one he lost, since he still has his receipt.  Now I liked the kids gumption and it gave me a chuckle....  but really?!?!  Who the hell would walk into a store and ask for a free pass on something they didn't even buy there and something that is technically goverment owned.  That particular inventory is closely controlled.  My thought is "Absolutely not, but I'll sell you a new one." 

No... my co-worker decides to take this kids receipt and go to the manager and see if we can give him a new one.  Really?!?  You gotta ask something like that?!?  How do we know he lost it? How do we know he even bought one and didn't just bring in his buddy's receipt to try and pull a fast one?  How do we know that's really what this receipt is for? Because it's not specific and it's for $7 more then we charge.  Anyway... the boss tells him no.  Obviously.  So anyway I'll give props to the kid for his effort and just shake my head at my co-worker.  See stupid really is all around!

Stupid Person 8

So... in the grand scheme of things people are generally stupid.  But can I tell you there are people out there who aren't.  I know, what a contradiction.  Here I have made this blog to vent about stupid people - and don't worry... I have a stupid person to write about I just wanted to clarify.  Despite my irritation with those out there that are beyond stupid...  I know not everyone is and there are people out there who can redeem humanity.  We just have to flush the stupids first!

So a friend of mine lost her husband in a very public way almost a year ago.  No need for details I assure you, you will get the point of the stupids without specifics.  Well, needless to say, she has been in the public eye ALOT.  She has however tried to avoid it.  She has been forced to stay home so strange and stupid people won't come up to her.  When she is out and about she has a spidy-sense on when the stupids are coming.  Her radar just starts going off with a warning!

She went to the store the other day with her 4 year old daughter when she was accosted by this STUPID woman.  My friend was in the check out line and could feel someone looking at her.  She looked out of the corner of her eye and saw a woman with two little girls and her husband making frutive movements and glancing at her repeatedly.  My friend quickly checked out and hurried to the food court to get some lunch for her daughter. 

Wouldn't you know it... Stupid followed her.  She tried to get as small as possible, she tried to look away and not be noticed... but it didn't work.  This broad - because she certainly wasn't a lady - came up to her.  She also didn't just say "excuse me."  No, she pokes my friend on the shoulder with one finger and speaks.  "Oh My God!  Are you Sammy Smith (not her real name by the way)?" 
My friend thought "You know I am or you wouldn't be walking up to me like an idiot!!!", but wanting to remain civil and not draw negative attention to herself, her daughter or her husbands memory simply said "yes."
So this idiot begins to babble about how wonderful it is to meet her and how strong she is.  All of this blubbering while my friends daughter begins to curl up into a little ball and begin clutching her mother in an effort to stop what she is hearing.  In order to stop the pain that is now flushing into her.  This STUPID BROAD just keeps going, oblivious to the pain she is causing this little, precious child.  Then she says "my daughters would love to meet your little Julie (also not her real name), and have a play date!  Hold on, let me go get them!"  She then proceeds to drag her family over to my friend and make introductions - like she's know my friend for years!  Julie just got smaller.  Now remember this is just one example of the stupid people she has to deal with on a regular basis!

Finally my friend was able to get away from this stupid person and Julie was in tears.  But do you know what my friend told her.  That people just want to get to know her because she's the daughter of a super hero.  Julie immediately smiled at the thought.  Isn't that a good way to spin such a horrid experience.  My friend is a prime example of the type of person that can redeem humanity from the stupids!!!

Stupid Person 7

First of all... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!  I know it's not politically correct anymore to say that, but guess what... I don't care.  That's right.  I think Happy Holidays is a crock. Say what you mean.  I'm not trying to offend anyone by saying that.  It's the holiday I celebrate.  If someone said to me Happy Kwanza.  Cool!  That's your holiday and I would wish you the same.  It is the holiday's after all... isn't it a time to be nice and accepting of ALL?!?  Which leads me to this...

I am the first to admit I have some road rage issues.  I know how to drive; I know how others are supposed to drive.  That being said...  the majority of people need to LEARN to drive.  Let me say this first...  Don't call it a speed limit.  It's not the limit on how fast you can go, it's how fast you're supposed to go.  That's right folks...  Drive the frickin' posted speed!!!!

So the other day I'm driving down the road and come to an intersection.  It's busy and it's a four way inersection.  Theres cars at every stop and a bus to my right.  It's the buses turn to go.  But because this thing is turning right and is so long it can't make the turn with the car in the turn lane, next to the lane it wants in... with me so far?  So the cars (theres two cars across from me, one going straight and one turning left in front of me) both go so the bus can make it's turn.  As the bus makes it's turn the car across from it (and on my left) goes straight through the intersection.  The bus, drives over the curb in an attempt to make the turn and proceeds on through the intersection.  Here comes the Jackwagon... right on cue.

Behind the bus is a little old man in a pick up truck.  As I'm pulling out from the stop, slowly so I can be behind the bus, this old Jackwagon decides he's too good for the stop sign and rolls right on through it, directly behind the bus and cutting me off!  I slam on my breaks and hit the horn.  The old Codger just looks at me like I'M the idiot.

The bus has an almost immediate stop to make and the old Jackwagon goes around him and I follow directly behind.  Now if what he's done wasn't bad enough... and I could have moved on, now that I've yelled inside my closed vehicle and sworn the guy to hell for being a jerk, but his Monster JACKWAGON does something monumentally stupid, yet again.  He proceeds to drive 25 miles per hour.  Now as I've explained this wouldn't be so bad if the speed was marked 25, but it's not.  It's marked 45 MPH.  That's right this idiot, who should have his license revoked for being stupid is going 20 miles below the posted speed.  Which just further pisses me off.  I couldn't believe this moron was driving on the road legally!  Man what a tool!

Stupid Person 6

So this Jackwagon came up to me today wanting to get his Widget.  It started out bad from the second I called his number.  This is why.  I called the number 63, because 62 was already up on the counter.  Apparently, Mr. Jackwagon was 62 and somehow had gotten skipped.  He says "What about 62?!?"

I reply, "Ok, come on up."

Now when a person wants to buy this particular Widget, there is specific information I need  before I can sell him the Widget.  I know, picky, picky, picky, but I don't make the rules.  Well...  He slides the request from over the counter to me and says "I don't have those numbers."

I push the paper back over the counter to him and tell him "You're gonna need those numbers before I can sell you a widget."

"But the lady over there said you could find the numbers in the computer," he replies with an attitude, pushing the paper back across the counter to me.

I take the paper but I say "I'll look for the numbers in the computer, however if I can't find them, you'll have to get them yourself."  Now I'll admit I said this a little cranky.  I was just getting to work and he'd already fuzzed me up from the get go.

He stands up straight, grabs is paper and with attitude says "You want me to go get the numbers instead?!?"

I look him right in the eye and reply "yes, yes I do." Then I slide the paper back to him.

He looks at me and says "You're rude!  I don't know what's wrong with you."  He snatches up the paper and starts to walk away.  But he stops in front of my co-worker next to me and says "You need to control her.  She's outta control."  Then storms out the door to make a phone call to get the numbers.

Like anyone at work controls me!!!  What a Jackwagon!

Stupid Person 4 and 5

So working at my job dealing with Widgets and Gizmos there are always a lot of people in the office.  Part of what we do for crowd control - for lack of a better term - is make everyone coming inside the doors take a number.  Thats right... TAKE A NUMBER!

Now I know...  but we have to keep track of people some how, make sure everyone gets helped in a timely manner.  However, there are those that don't really care that there is law and order around.  Some people just feel like they should be able to walk up to the first person available and demand help... to hell with the fifty or so people sitting down waiting patiently for their turn.  I have two prime examples of this type of stupidity!

Stupid Person 4: When people take a number as the enter, the can see how long their wait is going to take.  Some decide it's just not worth the wait and turn around and leave.  Fine by me!  However, some stick around.  One thing I hate... no despise... is line jumpers.

One afternoon I called several numbers.  Because people had left I went through several when a woman walked up to me.  She was pushing a stroller and carrying her Gizmo.  When she came up to me she started talking about what she needed.  I said "I need your number", meaning the paper she pulled with her number on it.
Her reply "uh..."  She proceeds to look at the top of her stroller then replies, "I don't know where it is."
I inform her I need it before I can begin helping her.
"I must have thrown it away," she replies and continues her story of what she needs.
"I'm sorry," I say, "I need your number or you're going to have to take another number and wait until that one is called."
"But you just called my number."
Now I ask you... when you come into a business that makes you take a number so you can be helped, are you really going to throw it away?!?  I wanted to tell her not to lie to me (another thing I despise) but instead I say "sorry, but I really have to have the number before we continue." 
"Well!" she steams and then storms out of the office...  She didn't take another number, she just left.  Fine by me.

Stupid Person 5:  Very similar to the above... with a twist.
At my office we have a desk where people can just wait in line and ask questions.  Make sure they have everything they need.  It actually is a good idea.  That way people don't have to wait if they don't have everything they need or in order.

What I hate is when a line develops at the "information" desk.  You'd naturally think, take a number and wait.  Either you get called up and helped or you wait patiently at the "information" desk before it gets called and that person answers your quesitons... then you wait for your number to be called, with your Widget ready.

But some tool who "only has a quick question" decides to walk up to the counter where we are calling numbers and interupt me "Can I ask you a quick question."

I look at them and point to the line at the "information" desk and say "that's the information desk.  They'll be happy to help you when you get up to the front of the line."  Then I walk away.